There’s a lot of concern around the idea of hard-core negotiation. Certainly if you’re trying to entice your teenager to clean their room then probably this wouldn’t be the best tactic. But perhaps you’re considering asking for a raise or an enter-point salary. This certainly heightens the priority of winning. Doesn’t it?
Many people shy away from negotiation because it seems pushy or cutthroat or even rude. Trust me, I’ve heard it all. Typically these are excuses not to negotiate because the idea of asking for something (especially money) is uncomfortable. But it’s also amazing how many of us feel hurt and disappointed when we are not earning our worth.
A bit of a conundrum, wouldn’t you say?
To make the idea of negotiation a little less daunting, here are some ways to get more comfortable negotiating to win.
- Practice Asking. It’s amazing what people are willing to negotiate—from department stores to medical services, what may seem like standard pricing isn’t, if you ask. What’s the worse they can say? No, right? But when you get comfortable asking, you’ll have less stress when asking for the things that really matter.
- Be Nice. It doesn’t hurt to smooth the course for the negotiation by setting up some empathy and trust. By graciously ensuring both parties are amiable to taking the conversation to negotiation you will go a lot further when you get there. Remember the movie Road House? Patrick Swayze said it best even during the toughest of negotiations: “Be Nice.”
- Timing Counts. Even when you feel ready to negotiate, the other party may not. Take into account the rhythm of their schedule and energy (if you know it), the environment in which you plan to negotiate and the timing of the ask, both when scheduling the meeting and within the meeting. Practice with small, almost undetected, negotiations so you can get a feel of time. For example, negotiate with your manager on re-working an agenda or taking lead on a project so you can see how she interacts during the process and the timing of when she’s most receptive.
- Accept Loss. This doesn’t necessarily mean you, but somewhere along your negotiation journey both parties will not come out win-win. You have to accept that as part of the process. If you do win what you want but let guilt creep in, you may find yourself giving up all that you’ve worked hard for. A simple thank you and following up on your commitment is all that’s required when you win.
How to Be Career Happy? Negotiate To Win