If you keep telling yourself and everyone else that you’re a victim, then you’ll be one for as long as you live that story. In fact, you might find yourself living in the basement. (Hopefully not literally.)
A client of mine always seems to have a reason why they can’t coach right now. They have personal and family issues, they’re smarting from some rejections, they’re trying to support their family but just can’t seem to get a break, they’ve worked in too many industries that no one will take them seriously, etc.
What they don’t want to hear is the truth. They avoid coaching, and putting themselves in front of their designated mentors and other positive influencers, because they don’t want to face the work that needs to be done in order to create positive change. They don’t want to be told to “snap out of it” or that they should turn their energies towards the good that is coming their way.
Instead they “live in the basement” with the people who perpetuate their disappointments, fears and frustrations. This is their safe space—the blame basement.
Start Heading Back Upstairs!!!
Listen, you don’t have to be coached, mentored or work with your positive influencers to get upstairs and out of your funk—although it certainly helps. But you (and I) do need to explore how a victim mindset can hold you back from being happy, not to mention successful.
Blame is a natural course of our survival and we have perpetuated it as a society overall. I wish I was immune to this behavior, but heck, I’m a blamer just like the next person. It’s what we do from time to time. But after a while we have to look in the mirror and face the truth.
Ask the hard questions:
- Who is really at fault here?
- What umbrella of excuses are you living under?
- What is this costing you?
- How is your career and professional reputation being impacted?
- Are you living in the basement of fear?
Then strategize how to move forward and upstairs again:
- What do you really want?
- Is this your goal or someone else’s?
- What would make you happy?
- Are you ready to push past blame and on to accountability?
- What can you do to change?
- How can you help yourself?
- What small positive step can you take today?
- What rewards are waiting for you?
- How can I help?
How to Be Career Happy? Stop Living In The Blame Basement.